USCIS Ombudsman's 2008 Report: 'Hello Out There!' Or 'Hellooo'?

Sometimes, for no apparent reason, a word or phrase bubbles

up from deep within the realm of memory.† As I studied the

excellent 2008 USCIS Ombudsman's Report to

Congress, out from my cerebral hard drive popped

"Hello Out There!" -- the title and opening

and ending lines of William Saroyan's outstanding 1942

one-act play. The play is about angst, the existential cry of

the human spirit beset by a world of injustice, but also about

hopeful beginnings. (In high school I played the smallest of

bit parts -- the jailer -- a ten-second walk-on with no

lines.)

As I wondered why this phrase suddenly popped in my mind,

into my consciousness came another meaning of

"hello," pronounced with an adolescent sing-song

intonation that stresses the last two syllables, as in

"HellOOo."† This slang meaning of

"hello," as confirmed in www.SlangSite.com, expresses astonished

incredulity at another person's naivete.

Pondering the two meanings of this common salutation, I at

last made the connection to the Ombudsman's report.†

On one hand, his report is a deep-throated "Hello Out

There!" -- an earnest clarion call alerting us in detail

to the many problems and dysfunctions of USCIS, and a hopeful

urging to our nation's leaders for resolute action.†

On the other, the report may well evoke a skeptical and smarmy

reaction from members of the public and the immigration

cognoscenti whose hopes have been dashed repeatedly by

countless broken promises and initiatives that failed.

I take the quixotic view of the Ombudsman's

report.† If he can help in achieving even a glass

half-full of...