The Most Unasked Question; Is This A Fight Worth Having?
In most instances, people who take the time to visit a website like this are either enmeshed in domestic relations problems or trying to be supportive of those who are. No one likes being in this position but statisticians tells us that this is a pretty common event in modern society.
Folks in the "system" are often frustrated. Very few people want their relationships to fail or to fight over how they will allocate their income, their assets or how and when they will see their children. But that is what occurs when relationships fail.
When these sad events occur, people tend to want advice. Of course there is lots of free advice from friends, family, co-workers, and people at the gym who passed a bar exam in Indiana ten years ago and worked briefly for a law firm doing securities work in Indianapolis. Divorce lawyers who really do this work charge what some would call an unfair amount of money undoing the damage of free advice. "No, you are not automatically divorced after ninety days or two years or whenever." "No you are not entitled to live the frivolous lifestyle you and your spouse had for the last three years of your marriage." "No, you don't always get one year of alimony for every three years you were married." Of course, you were getting much better free answers from your friends who "only want to help." In 2008 when your financial adviser told you that Citigroup was a buy at $60 a share, he wasn't out to ruin you. He just didn't know better.
Almost like the sixth sense, people will reach out for free advice when intuitively they know that "professional" advice won't be what they want to hear. What does a client want to hear? They are entitled to live the lifestyle they enjoyed during the marriage. They want to hear that a father who has left a mother for another won't get an overnight visit with his child. The person who wants the divorce must pay the other spouse's legal fees. So, check with mother, sis or your brother in Istanbul first before checking with your lawyer.
Anyone involved in the divorce process can tell you it is frustrating, time consuming and expensive. For most, this is absolutely true. But part of the reason it is frustrating, time consuming and expensive is because clients (a) don't like what their counsel is telling them and (b) tend to ignore advice they don't like because they are getting free advice...
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