Divorce Mediation - A Primer for Clients

1. What is divorce mediation? Mediation is a voluntary settlement process in which an impartial person who is trained in dispute resolution meets with the parties to discuss the issues they wish to resolve. The mediator will facilitate the negotiation of those issues, with the goal of helping the parties reach a settlement. Participation is voluntary, and any agreement reached by the parties must be entered into voluntarily; the mediator has no power to impose a settlement. The process is ordinarily confidential, depending on laws in the location where the mediation takes place.

2. Why mediate? There are several reasons: (a) it's less adversarial than going to court; (b) it's more private; (c) you retain control of the process -- i.e., you are not bound by what the mediator thinks (indeed, most mediators see their role as helping the parties effectuate their goals, not imposing the mediator's ideas); (d) it's usually much less expensive; (e) if there are children involved, the process is less likely to embroil them in a painful conflict; and (f) mediation often gives divorcing couples a better chance of successfully negotiating issues that may come up in the future (such as child support, alimony, or custody and visitation issues). What is the downside? It's a lot of work, but then again so is going to court. If mediation is unsuccessful in bringing about an amicable settlement, one could view the expense as a waste of money. It is usually a worthwhile investment because divorce mediation almost always leads to a settlement. Even when it doesn't, it often results in focusing the issues in a case in a useful way, so that one or two narrow issues can be presented to the court, which can then provide the parties with specific guidance on those issues.

3. Is your case appropriate for mediation? If you and your spouse are comfortable talking with each other about your financial issues, child-related issues, or other issues related to the divorce process, and you have no objection to discussing them on a confidential basis with an impartial mediator, the case is probably a good candidate for mediation. Cases in which there has been a history of domestic violence are usually not good candidates for mediation. Each of the parties should have, or be willing to share, full information about individual and joint assets, liabilities, income, and expenses. Most mediators have financial statement forms that they ask the parties to fill out as part of the...