Finding A Balance Between Conflicting Responsibilities:Work And Caring For Aging Parents

Originally published in Living in Balance Magazine

Trying to manage the care of aging parents or a disabled family member, while trying to meet other work and family responsibilities is a challenge. One that faces a rapidly growing segment of our population. As the huge demographic "bubble" in our population-the 76 million baby boomers born between 1946 and 1964 grow older, so do their parents.

According to the U.S census bureau, a baby boomer turns 55 every 7 seconds for the next 20 years. Their parents are living longer than any generation in history. In fact the fastest growing age group in our society is not all those babies we see in strollers-it's those over 85.

While longevity is something we all hope for ourselves and our loved ones, it can be a mixed blessing. While new medications, technology and surgical procedures have prolonged our lives, for many it means needing assistance from others to get through each day. Help with things like bathing dressing, mobility, toileting, managing money, shopping, meal preparation and house cleaning is needed by our parents, grandparents, or other family members.

An elderly parent may choose to move to a retirement community or even to a nursing home to receive the care they need when they can no longer manage on their own. But most want to live out their lives in their own homes for as long as possible. With the right kind of help - nursing services, home health aides and someone to help with errands, housekeeping and yard work, they can do so. While services are available, especially for those who can pay for them, finding your way through the confusing and uncoordinated maze that is the American long term care system can be a daunting task to even the most dedicated long distance caregiver.

Caregiving takes a heavy toll on work and family life. Among those who have provided hands-on care, 67 percent reported that it has had a significant impact on their family lives, and 41 percent reported that it had a significant impact on their work. More than 10 percent of those who have provided long-term care assistance said they had given up promotions or jobs as a result.

As the phenomenon of working and long distance caregivers continue to grow, employers, are getting a wake up call from several studies published recently. These studies, funded by AARP, Metropolitan Life Insurance, The National Alliance for Caregivers, The National Alzheimer's Association, and others estimate the costs of this...